GIVE'EM HELL HARRY

I’ve really been thinking about all that transpired on President Bush’s trip to the desert lands last week. There he was, our answer to a 50’s style hero like John Wayne or Randolph Scott, standing before the Knesset assuring them of the United States protection of their land. I’m sure they all slept so much better that night. This is the same guy that turned several sleeping dogs into a raging pack of meat eaters all around the small Jewish state. This is the same guy that with the help of his faithful sidekick, ‘Halliburton Dick’, agitated and just generally pissed off the entire world surrounding Israel. Now he was assuring everyone wearing a yarmulke and worshiping on Saturday night of how he was going to protect them. Israel and the United States would have been better off electing Jack Black and Adam Sandler four years ago instead of these two. One is the son who could not get a job (Ronald Reagan’s words not mine) and the other is the illegitimate son of Darth Vader.

Where W. really missed it was during his visit to Saudi Arabia. The news media reported that during is visit with the royal family George, the leader of the free world, while kneeling before the King, pleaded for an increase in the production of oil by the Royal family. The King, after spitting grape seeds toward the royal goat, told George that after seeking the wisdom of his spiritual leader he had to decline any increase at this time. Going further he admitted he had a bet with one of his brothers that he could get the price of oil to $150 per barrel before July 4th and that beating his brother out of $1 was something he really enjoyed doing.

Now here’s where we really have a breakdown in leadership. I can just see this King, living with his family in a twenty billion dollar compound telling Harry Truman that same bad news. Old Harry, first would have never been kneeling, would have simply asked the King if he could borrow his cell phone for a minute. As soon as the King handed him the phone Harry would have called (having memorized the number earlier) the commander of our force stationed in Saudi Arabia right there in front of the old King.
“Hello Gen. Schwarzkopf” (now Harry would have known the General was retired but would have used the name to really scare the King) “how long do you think it would take you to get all the boys and equipment packed up to go home?” By this time the King would begin to fidget. Truman would continue, “Yea, I mean to get completely out of this God forsaken place as fast as we can.” It wouldn’t matter what the General was saying on the other end, Truman would just keep saying what he wanted the King to hear. “The King here says they can handle their security themselves from now on and I want to get our boys out of here before we cut the water melons on the 4th.” “You get them packed up as soon as you can and ya’ll call the Air Force to come get you, take everything with you, the King says they can get by just fine without any more of our weapons and material.” Old Harry would end it by saying “When ya’ll get back get your little wife to give Bess a call and ya’ll stop by the White House for supper one day.” With that little Harry Truman would take his leave of the King and head back to the airport for his flight back to Washington. Harry would be half way over the Atlantic before the King could speak. See the King had never thought about speaking Iranian or Syrian and had never made any plans to give up his gold plated Jacuzzi and Rolex for each day of the year. By the time he could pull his robe out of his butt he would be trying to get Harry on his ‘SkyPhone’ to let him know the price of oil was now $15 per barrel and that we could take a 3% discount if we paid within 10 days of delivery.

It’s not all that complicated. Whoever controls those governments is going to drill and sell oil, hell that’s all they got. If Iran overran the Royal family they would have to have a market for the same oil the Royal family was selling. The only place they could sell it would be in China, North America, Europe or India. The consumer always sets the prices in an open market and the Royal family is not doing us any favors, why should we protect them if they don’t protect us.

Damn, Harry was good.