EVER BEEN CALLED STUPID AND IT WAS TRUE?

A couple of weeks ago, during the hottest of the hot times we have experienced this summer, I learned that a person, me in this instance, can be rightfully called stupid in the most innocent of ways. No rudeness, or bad intent, just truthful innocence.

A friend had ask me to ride with him to a city not far from Decatur to look for some grave sites. The reason for going he explained was that his wife had some relatives buried in this particular cemetery and she intended to spruce up the graves before Decoration Day(an annual Sunday in the South when relatives will refresh the grave sites of love ones by making sure the grass is cut or sand smoothed out and fresh plastic flowers are placed on the burial sites). I did not have anybody buried there or did not even know of anyone that intended to be placed at rest in this particular ‘garden’.

We arrived at the huge plot designated as the final resting place for what look like thousands of dearly departed in the heat of the day. There was a tiny office near the only entrance to the place where we stop to ask directions to the plots of my buddy’s distance and long departed in-laws. We both went in and were greeted by a woman just finishing a bucket of KFC hot wings which had obviously been chased by a huge bottle of Sun-Drop. She was a little overweight and had finger nails that had the logo "A" for the University of Alabama in glitter on both index fingers. My friend ask about where Uncle Morton McNutt's family might be buried and without consulting anything the chicken lady quickly informed him they were in the Garden of the Cross, which was the center most plot. “We ain’t got maps for each grave site but I know they are up there because my husband’s third cousin by marriage was buried up there last month and I remember seeing that name, go see if that’s who you’re looking for and if it ain’t come back and I will get out the maps.”

Armed with this wealth of information we returned to our car and started looking for the large Cross she had told us to find. Sure enough in the center of the property on what looked like the highest point we saw the Cross and proceeded to the area surrounding the only clue we had. We parked as close to the Cross as possible but quickly saw the ‘Garden of the Cross’ held what looked like a couple of hundred markers for all those fortunate enough to get what must have been a coveted place.

We had been in the area, separated by only a few grave sites for 15 or 20 minutes and it was miserably hot. As we walked the length of the ‘Garden’ and back, searching each headstone for any McNutt we could find, an old pickup pulled in behind my buddy’s car and stopped. Inside was a driver and two passengers. The driver, sporting a 2 or 3 day old beard and obviously chewing tobacco hollered across all those resting in what had been peace to my buddy and I. “Ya’ll got somebody burd (southern one syllable word for ‘buried’) out there?” Being the closest to him I replied, “no, we are from out of town and we are looking for some of the graves of my friends wife”. “That’s what I come for to" the driver replied, "my old lady found out I was coming to town today and she told me to find an uncle of hers”, the driver informed us. “Ya’ll seen any Willard’s out there”, the grave searcher in the pickup ask? “They’d a-been burd up here since back in the 80’s”, the driver continued to holler. “I haven’t seen anything I remember”, my buddy responded, “but we haven’t covered much ground yet”. “You might a knowed em”, the driver just kept talking. “He was old ‘Mutt’ Willard that run that bait store out on 20 close to the dam, sold a little beer too before the county went wet”, the driver just kept talking without ever getting out of the truck. "I think there's four or five of 'em burd out here". This time we both answered, “We don’t live around here, sorry”, it came out pretty close to the same at the same time.

“Why don’t you get out and look around, surely they will be in here somewhere”, my buddy asks. “Not me the driver responded, I’m gonna just tell the old lady I looked and couldn’t find ‘em, she ain’t gonna know the difference and really don’t care. Anyway I ain’t stupid enough to walk around a hot cemetery in 100 degree weather looking for somebody I don't give a ---- about anyway. See you boys later”. With that the pickup pulled out, passed our car and drove off through the entrance and back on the highway.

Suddenly it hit me, I was stupid enough to stand out in the 100+ degree weather and look for the graves of people I never knew. It must have hit my buddy about the same time because he looked at me and said, “this is pretty stupid, let’s get out of here and I think I’ll tell my ‘old lady’ we couldn’t find her folks either, maybe well come back around Thanksgiving”.

We never found my buddy’s folks or saw where the Willards were burd, but we were smart enough to get back in some air conditioning.

I ADMIT TO BEING 'VISION' CHALLENGED

Hardly a day goes by I don't read or hear something about someone with great 'vision'. The President is supposed to have a great 'vision' for our country. The Republicans are supposed to have a better 'vision' and Warren Buffet just has more 'vision' than Dr.Carter has Liver Pills. I think all of us think we have 'vision' to some extent and many do I'm sure. Those of us who are 'vision' impaired are always asking ourselves how someone knew to put a coat of chocolate around a glob of peanut butter or come up with exactly eleven (11) herbs and spices to coat chicken in before you fried it. We don't like to admit it but other people just have 'vision' and you can't learn it in school.

I have decided I do not have 'vision' after thinking about many of the conclusions I have come to in the past and looking at opinions I have formed over these last 64 years.

First I remember vividly thinking the automobile industry had peaked when the 1957 Chevrolet was introduced. Yea, I figured they would tinker with it a little but never would a car be manufactured that would ever change the basic style. That day, probably in October back in 1956, at Ray Motor Company in Haleyville, was in my opinion at the time the epitome of automobile design efforts, never to be surpassed.

There are many other evidences I should have picked up on over the years that would have confirmed my 'vision' challenged state. Some time in the early 70's Wally Weeks who sold for IBM at the time convinced me that the 'SelectMatic' typewriter would probably be as far as word processing would ever go. In a time of onion skin copies and unforgiving typing, this miracle machine would allow one to back up one letter and remove the mistyped single letter. Was this not as far as typewriting could ever go, Wally convinced me and I bought, knowing I would never need to buy word processing equipment again.

I'm the guy who thought the double bar face mask on a football helmet was the last innovation in facemask, I firmly believed you could never make Coke and Pepsi light, television signals bounced off satellites giving rise to 500 channels, (people couldn't watch the 3 they had at the same time anyway), or telephones that did not utilize land lines.

I'm still working because when computers really took off I never saw that the machines themselves were nowhere near as valuable as the programs running them. I never thought a gazillion applications could be marketed for use by a world starved for the next new gizmo app giving you a score from a game being played on the opposite side of the world or a recipe for cooking ribs in your backyard.

I have long reconciled myself to the fact this world is made up of all kinds of people. Some are givers, some are takers, some are basically good and some without God are basically bad, some are athletes some are bookworms. Some are 'visionary' and I'm not.

On this Day in 1776

Members of the Continental Congress began adding their signatures to the Declaration of Independence. Many believed the painting showing everyone lining up on July 3rd or 4th was an accurate portrayal of the events surrounding the signing by the Congress but such was not the case. After these guys read what Jefferson, Adams and Franklin had written or directed to be written it took a full month to start getting them back together to sign the actual document.

When this bunch saw what the leaders had done it scared the hell out of them. Reports are they lit out of Philly as soon as the first draft was read and it took Washington's army to drag them back. Who in their right mine would send such an inflammatory writing to the King of the most powerful nation in the world, telling him this bunch of radical field hands were taking his summer vacation retreat and turning it into a sovereign nation. Washington found many of these Congressmen in caves and others hightailing it to Canada. It took months to get everyone in to sign.

I guess we should not get too upset when our current Congress finds every way possible to avoid addressing the real issues of the day. Congress has a long record of CTA (Covering their A$$).