Well ole Jack Norman ran the board this past week and picked 5 for 5
losers. That brings my average for this
year to an enviable .500 in just two weeks of prime picking. I think if you will remember my boyhood hero
Mickey Mantle is securely in the Baseball Hall of Fame with a .298 batting
average. Last week was very
entertaining. Some of the summertime
wonders got their pants pulled down and tripped all over their pre-season hype
and exposed for the hot air they were.
Arkansas was never going to beat Alabama and USC was not going to the
BCS Championship game with Monty’s boy and Orgeron leading the charge. On the other hand get ready for the new
onslaught of love for Notre Dame and Florida, neither are worthy of being in
charge of Little Nicky’s hairspray or the ‘Hat’s’ take- out bag of grass he
uses when playing on artificial turf.
Now for week 4.
VANDY at GEORGIA
Richt, the coach with the most that does the least, moves into the
‘meat of his schedule. After the Florida
Atlantic Owls came to town he has to get the ‘dogs’ up again for a conference
powerhouse. Vandy is coming off a cross
between city league football and prayer meeting in beating the feared ‘Blue
Hose’ of Presbyterian. Coach Franklin
could put a whipping on the ‘Dogs’ if he has everybody singing out of the same
Latin hymn book and Georgia is looking around
the corner toward the, decent for one half, Tennessee Vols.
Jack Norman’s Loser: GEORGIA
AKRON at TENNESSEE
I guess if your team can only play for ½ of a game then you should
schedule ½ of a D1 team to play. If the
Volunteers can get all that throw up off their jerseys from the 2nd
half last week and they can get at least 60,000 fans back in the seats the
abandoned last Saturday they could really show the ‘Zips’ a thing or two about
what Tennessee football once was. Can
you believe a fan base that really wish’s they could get Phil Fulmer back for
an encore.
Jack Norman’s Loser: Akron
OLE MISS at TULANE
I only watched the Ole Miss offense last week and thought they were
really doing great until I heard on Sports Center what Texas offense did. As an Auburn fan I’m really going out on a
limb here when I say any college that gives scholarships for football and lets
another team score 66 points on them should probably spend more money on
research and English classes and a lot less on football. Holding your opponent to 66 is not that bad if you are playing Kentucky in basketball but in
football Saturday’s in the ‘Grove’ would be better spent reading a book by one
of the famous alumni. I do like this new
coach and do think Texas is pretty good so:
Jack Norman’s Loser: Tulane
KENTUCKY at FLORIDA
Out of a deep and abiding friendship with Kathy Duncan, Billy Hudson
and Ronnie Dukes I will limit my comments on this trip to Florida by the
Wildcats. Bam Bam seems to have learned
a lot from those two years in coaching 101.
Looks like he has finally figured out how to use all that talent Florida
seems to always have. The ‘wildcats’ on
the other had seem to not only be lacking in talent but completely void of any
coaching. This one may fall into that 66
point scored with Florida having an open date the next week and getting ready
for LSU two weeks out.
Jack Norman’s Loser: Kentucky
RUTGERS at ARKANSAS
Speaking of throw up all over you jerseys. A local writer said that John L. Lewis Smith
looked like your granddaddy talking to a customer service rep in India trying
to get his computer turned on. I must
agree. Anybody else that took $850,000
from a school to coach a team many picked to compete for the SEC Championship
would have been jailed for Grand Larceny.
Alabama so completely demolished the ‘Hogs’ that they are not even
decent for low grade sausage. Look for a
big comeback this week, the ‘Hogs’ may score.
Jack Norman’s Loser: Arkansas
SOUTH ALABAMA at MISSISSIPPI STATE
Well the ‘Bulldogs’ escaped South Alabama with a 6 point win over
TROY. That’s pretty good since TROY is
now the second best team in Alabama for the time being. Dan Mullen is proving he’s the best coach
State has ever had the old fashion way, scheduling. This week he has the dog door open to that
mighty band of ‘Jaguars’ from South Alabama.
Now Joey Jones has done a great job of building that program and surely
needs to raise some money, but if Mullen thinks this will get him any respect
then he’s been reading his bio too much.
He better be careful, the next two weeks will be just as tough, he has
‘open’ and ‘Kentucky’. As Sarah Palin so
famously said, “grow a pair Mullen”.
Jack Norman’s Loser: South
Alabama
LSU at AUBURN
I’m hoping AUBURN falls within the geographical area that requires
hurricane protection, they are going to need it. This was the year all SEC contenders look for,
all their big opponents at home. Who
knew all these 4 and 5 stars we have been signing couldn’t play in a stadium
that held more than 6,000 people. I
love’em and will be at the top of my form in hollering ‘WAR EAGLE’ but I might
as well go over to the forest and do my hollering into a bear’s butt. I’ve said it before LSU and ALABAMA should be
playing on Sunday’s and Monday nights. I
know AUBURN will come back but LSU is not the place to start.
Jack Norman’s Loser: AUBURN
FLORIDA ATLANTIC at ALABAMA
If I were the ‘OWLS’
I promise I would call it in. Offer Mal
Moore a refund on whatever the deposit was and let the kids go alligator
hunting in the glades Saturday afternoon, they’d be safer. They probably think they played a football
team last Saturday at Georgia but that was just the appetizer. There is big difference between stuffed
mushrooms and prime steak. Miracles do
happen, Moses got the Jews across the sea and there was a forth man in that
fire with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego but it ain’t gonna happen in Tuscaloosa this coming
Saturday.
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