For a number of reasons I have had a lot of exposure to the book of Exodus this year. It has taken my Bible study group over a year to cover just the first 30 Chapters at our snail like pace. In addition this quarter's international series of Sunday School lessons has started off on what many historians call the big move and it just seems like everywhere I look someone is talking about the Jews escape. The entire story is really interesting, but I can't help but wonder how these events would be viewed and reported today. It is pretty easy to look back thousands of years through history and wonder about the actions and reactions of Moses, Aaron, Pharaoh and the other cast of characters but what would it be like today if the same things happened.
Let's say some guy named Rufus who had been in trouble with the law 40 or 50 years ago, showed up one day with a message for the President of the U.S.A. from God. Rufus had been living in Mexico for all those years hiding from the Sheriff in Lawrence County, Al because of a stack of DUI tickets he amassed years before. While in Mexico Rufus had been working for a Chinese company that made 'handmade authentic Mexican artifacts & souvenirs' that were to be sold to tourist in Cancun. Rufus's life had been simple for all these years, the Lawrence County sheriff had no intention of chasing Rufus and besides that was ten sheriffs ago and the records were long ago lost when the county clerk switched everything to computers. Rufus's folks were just as glad he was gone because of his propensity to drink and just generally act a fool. Rufus had married a Mexican lady and they raised a couple of kids who were about as smart as Rufus and were now working with him making treasures for the tourist.
One day on the way to work Rufus attention was drawn to a cactus near the small dirt road he traveled each day. Rufus pulled his '73 Ford F-100 over and walked to the cactus that seemed to be on fire but was not burning up as one would expect. As Rufus approached, constantly looking over his shoulder for someone to approach the cactus with him, he was shocked by the same message Moses had heard so long ago. "Take your shoes off Rufus, you are on my ground" blag, blag, etc and etc. Rufus remembered he had not had a drink in years because the condition he drank himself into earlier in his life. He knew something of the experience Moses encountered so long ago from the Bible readings his Mexican wife made him endure every Sunday morning in lieu of attending the local Catholic church. In what would have come as a total shock to anyone in Alabama that ever knew Rufus, it did not take long for Rufus to get the message the voice in the cactus was giving him and for the shoes to come off, dirty socks and all.
"You know who I am", the voice first said, "yes, I think so", said Rufus. "Then you know I've got something for you to do", the voice continued. "Aw God, I can't do anything big, I'm just now learning to speak Mexican and I've been here forty years", Rufus knew from the book it was not going to do any good to argue with God. "You don't have to speak Mexican for this", God said, "I'm gonna need you to speak English". "I don't speak that too good either", was all Rufus could say. Rufus knew it was not going to do any good fight'en God on this. "I'm not stupid, what do you want me to do"? Rufus said weakly. "Here's the deal", the Lord said, "I want you to go back to the United States and tell the President I want him to dismantle the whole military of the United States, I want him to destroy all the weapons, nuclear included, and send all the soldiers home, immediately". "You can't be serious", Rufus said after regaining some degree of presence and preparing to duck. "I know you are God, and you know what your doing, but this ain't Egypt and I will not be talking to some Pharaoh that inherited the job from his old man", Rufus did not want to challenge God but he was not sure God's mind was everything it used to be.
(to be cont'd)
Showing posts with label southern humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label southern humor. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Brain Drain or You Got to be Kidding
Brain Drain Blues
In debating the President’s economic recovery package, specifically the limit on compensation for executives, the Repubs are getting a little touchy. Sen. Claire McCaskill said the financial executives just don’t get it. “It’s like they are kicking sand in the face of the American people,” said Sen. McCaskill when referring to the continued extravagance in the boardrooms of the ‘big money’ recipients of the previous TARP funds and the hat in hand beggars now soliciting more ‘Bail Out’ money from the government.
Just a day after the President suggested a paltry $500,000.00 per year cap on the executives of companies taking our money to get their companies out of hock, the ‘trickle down’ boys began to squeal like stuck pigs. I’m sure the faxes, e-mails and lobbying buddies were covering the old money politicians like one of those new ‘Snugglies’ we see daily advertised on T.V. Most every imaginable excuse is now being made to avoid such common sense legislation. I think the dumbest is the one made by the former President of Merrill, Lynch, the guy whose reason for spending $1,250,000.00 to redecorate his office, while his company lost 20 Billion dollars in the last quarter of last year, was because he just didn’t feel like he could work in the old place. This genius actually told a live reporter on a network show he felt he had to pay the year end bonuses for his company, which amounted to over a billion dollars, because if he did not he was going to lose his good people. Good people! What part of losing 20 billion dollars does this fool not understand? Right this minute, I can get in my car and drive across town to the sale barn and put together a group of Mexican farm workers, not the farm owners but the illegal’s that can not speak English, and live twelve to a two bedroom trailer and together we can’t lose 20 BILLION DOLLARS in a year, much less a quarter. If I could gather the actual farmers and throw in my barber Vic, we could maybe make at least a couple of percentage points or at least make more than we making now and have a little left over for the investors.
One insider that agreed with the President on the limitations suggested that big time executives might even be required to qualify for their pay in the same manner that unemployment compensation recipients do. That is they must prove that they are working a minimum of 40 hours per week on the job. They could not count the time they spent reading the Wall Street Journal or commuting in company cars with paid drivers or flying in company air craft. That each company should be required to charge for meals in executive dining rooms and that outside executive meals be limited to a set per diem as is the case for other government employees until all government money is repaid. He noted that full control over the affairs of the company be returned to its Board and Executives as soon as all the government money is repaid and the company is operating on it own. The response to this has been strong. It is unheard of, the panic mentality abounds that we would be risking the loss of the geniuses of the financial world. "It's a leap, because the executive at the bank is a free agent who can leave the bank and go to work someplace else," said Sen. Bob Bennett (R-UT) of the welfare comparison. "You run the risk of having a brain drain at the bank of their top talent." Lord forbid us having a brain drain in our financial world. Where are they going? I can just hear a potential employer now asking during the interview portion of the hiring process, “why’d you leave your last job Mr. member of the brain drain”? “Oh, I lost the company 20 Billion last quarter and they wanted to cut my pay to a mere $500,000.00 next year and I just can’t live on that,” Brain Drain would reply. We’ve already lost the genius of George W. in the White House, Donald Rumsfield in the Pentagon. If this happen the only thing holding this nation together would be Bill O’Rielly and Rush Limbaugh and it is doubtful the the two of them could prevail against hords of common citizens that would like to see this nation work the way it was designed to work. For the people and by the people.
God save our nation from the great brain drain of smart people that have governed our country and its markets for the last eight years.
In debating the President’s economic recovery package, specifically the limit on compensation for executives, the Repubs are getting a little touchy. Sen. Claire McCaskill said the financial executives just don’t get it. “It’s like they are kicking sand in the face of the American people,” said Sen. McCaskill when referring to the continued extravagance in the boardrooms of the ‘big money’ recipients of the previous TARP funds and the hat in hand beggars now soliciting more ‘Bail Out’ money from the government.
Just a day after the President suggested a paltry $500,000.00 per year cap on the executives of companies taking our money to get their companies out of hock, the ‘trickle down’ boys began to squeal like stuck pigs. I’m sure the faxes, e-mails and lobbying buddies were covering the old money politicians like one of those new ‘Snugglies’ we see daily advertised on T.V. Most every imaginable excuse is now being made to avoid such common sense legislation. I think the dumbest is the one made by the former President of Merrill, Lynch, the guy whose reason for spending $1,250,000.00 to redecorate his office, while his company lost 20 Billion dollars in the last quarter of last year, was because he just didn’t feel like he could work in the old place. This genius actually told a live reporter on a network show he felt he had to pay the year end bonuses for his company, which amounted to over a billion dollars, because if he did not he was going to lose his good people. Good people! What part of losing 20 billion dollars does this fool not understand? Right this minute, I can get in my car and drive across town to the sale barn and put together a group of Mexican farm workers, not the farm owners but the illegal’s that can not speak English, and live twelve to a two bedroom trailer and together we can’t lose 20 BILLION DOLLARS in a year, much less a quarter. If I could gather the actual farmers and throw in my barber Vic, we could maybe make at least a couple of percentage points or at least make more than we making now and have a little left over for the investors.
One insider that agreed with the President on the limitations suggested that big time executives might even be required to qualify for their pay in the same manner that unemployment compensation recipients do. That is they must prove that they are working a minimum of 40 hours per week on the job. They could not count the time they spent reading the Wall Street Journal or commuting in company cars with paid drivers or flying in company air craft. That each company should be required to charge for meals in executive dining rooms and that outside executive meals be limited to a set per diem as is the case for other government employees until all government money is repaid. He noted that full control over the affairs of the company be returned to its Board and Executives as soon as all the government money is repaid and the company is operating on it own. The response to this has been strong. It is unheard of, the panic mentality abounds that we would be risking the loss of the geniuses of the financial world. "It's a leap, because the executive at the bank is a free agent who can leave the bank and go to work someplace else," said Sen. Bob Bennett (R-UT) of the welfare comparison. "You run the risk of having a brain drain at the bank of their top talent." Lord forbid us having a brain drain in our financial world. Where are they going? I can just hear a potential employer now asking during the interview portion of the hiring process, “why’d you leave your last job Mr. member of the brain drain”? “Oh, I lost the company 20 Billion last quarter and they wanted to cut my pay to a mere $500,000.00 next year and I just can’t live on that,” Brain Drain would reply. We’ve already lost the genius of George W. in the White House, Donald Rumsfield in the Pentagon. If this happen the only thing holding this nation together would be Bill O’Rielly and Rush Limbaugh and it is doubtful the the two of them could prevail against hords of common citizens that would like to see this nation work the way it was designed to work. For the people and by the people.
God save our nation from the great brain drain of smart people that have governed our country and its markets for the last eight years.
Monday, February 2, 2009
WHO IS GOING TO D-BONE THE CHICKEN IN OBAMA’S NEW WORLD?
I want to preface anything I say here with the acknowledgement that I think President Obama is the best thing to happen to our country in a long time. I think he has the intelligence and insights to not only see but to understand where divisive and bipartisan politics have taken us over the years since we were truly united for a long period of time. I have been a fan of this dynamic young leader since his appearance at the Democratic convention four years ago and my admiration has done nothing but grow since that night over four years ago. I have watch his campaign over the last two years and intently followed his evolution to the oval office and I firmly believe he is definitely the man for the job he now holds.
My question today is not whether the plans and policies in the inaugural address can become a reality, my question is will we be able to find people willing to fill the stimulus jobs the President proposes. I do not think it will be hard to reach a consensus among Republicans and Democrats on designing or funding such stimulus programs. The majority by now realizes that cash must begin to flow to the middle and lower portions of our economic structure. Somebody has got to have the money to buy a new mattress or big-screen T.V. Fixing the car companies is a total waste of money if there is not going to be someone to buy the new cars they produce. The problem I see is that it is going to be hard to get someone to take one of those stimulus jobs if he can make “livin money” doing nothing and drawing food stamps and other “government money”. Granted the stimulus wages would probably be higher but so is the wage for cooking at McDonalds and working for landscaping companies which only the Hispanic members of our society will take now. Poultry plants across the south are almost 100% staffed by Hispanics who are the only applicants for the jobs. What is going to be the motivation to get this vast wave of Americans to take a job working on ‘shovel ready’ highway project in the middle of winter or heat of summer when they will not d-bone a chicken for $9.00 an hour in an air-conditioned building.
There is a large number of high-end unemployed that have lost their jobs and life savings due to the current crisis with a very good work ethic and desire to become re-employed. These people are the baby boomers who have a strong appreciation of work and the ability to provide for their families. They have a pride that will not allow them to ‘live off the government” and they want to work, the problem with them is that they have reached an age where physical labor is no longer practical. Repairing the infrastructure and ‘greening’ or nation is going to require hard grueling work these people could not do because of physical limitations.
I know President Obama is smart and God only knows he is going to need to be. We do not need to create more jobs for our Hispanic neighbors to man while sending their income home to Mexico and other South American countries. I am in full agreement that Public Work jobs similar to those of Roosevelt in the Great Depression are one way to get cash into the economy. It has worked before and will work again; the trick is to see to it that this great entitlement society recognizes that work is a precedent to being entitled to anything. This is going to be hard. There will not be any marching bands or celebrity galas going on while the tough stuff gets done. Everyone talks about readjusting our economy, which is not going to be hard to do. Readjusting our sense of entitlement is going to be the real bitch in this thing.
I think my man Obama can do it!!
My question today is not whether the plans and policies in the inaugural address can become a reality, my question is will we be able to find people willing to fill the stimulus jobs the President proposes. I do not think it will be hard to reach a consensus among Republicans and Democrats on designing or funding such stimulus programs. The majority by now realizes that cash must begin to flow to the middle and lower portions of our economic structure. Somebody has got to have the money to buy a new mattress or big-screen T.V. Fixing the car companies is a total waste of money if there is not going to be someone to buy the new cars they produce. The problem I see is that it is going to be hard to get someone to take one of those stimulus jobs if he can make “livin money” doing nothing and drawing food stamps and other “government money”. Granted the stimulus wages would probably be higher but so is the wage for cooking at McDonalds and working for landscaping companies which only the Hispanic members of our society will take now. Poultry plants across the south are almost 100% staffed by Hispanics who are the only applicants for the jobs. What is going to be the motivation to get this vast wave of Americans to take a job working on ‘shovel ready’ highway project in the middle of winter or heat of summer when they will not d-bone a chicken for $9.00 an hour in an air-conditioned building.
There is a large number of high-end unemployed that have lost their jobs and life savings due to the current crisis with a very good work ethic and desire to become re-employed. These people are the baby boomers who have a strong appreciation of work and the ability to provide for their families. They have a pride that will not allow them to ‘live off the government” and they want to work, the problem with them is that they have reached an age where physical labor is no longer practical. Repairing the infrastructure and ‘greening’ or nation is going to require hard grueling work these people could not do because of physical limitations.
I know President Obama is smart and God only knows he is going to need to be. We do not need to create more jobs for our Hispanic neighbors to man while sending their income home to Mexico and other South American countries. I am in full agreement that Public Work jobs similar to those of Roosevelt in the Great Depression are one way to get cash into the economy. It has worked before and will work again; the trick is to see to it that this great entitlement society recognizes that work is a precedent to being entitled to anything. This is going to be hard. There will not be any marching bands or celebrity galas going on while the tough stuff gets done. Everyone talks about readjusting our economy, which is not going to be hard to do. Readjusting our sense of entitlement is going to be the real bitch in this thing.
I think my man Obama can do it!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
