'Joe the Plumber'

It’s Saturday, three days until what many are saying is the most important Presidential election in our lifetime, and John McCain just announced that ‘Joe the Plumber’ is his hero and he’s taking him to Washington. Now my question is, has this entire nation gone mad or is it just John McCain? McCain is a man who has served this country since he was 17 years old in one form or another. Here is a man who from birth, being the son and grandson of Admirals, a member of Congress for 26 years, and husband to the only woman richer than Oprah, has walked in the most rarified air this country has to offer. Now this nominee of the Grand Old Party is falling in love with the guy that dropped out of High School to pursue a career unclogging commodes with a plumber’s snake.

Everyone had a ‘Joe the Plumber’ in their class until he dropped out before the 11th grade or when he reached 16 years of age, whichever came first. It did not take long, usually by the 4th grade, for everyone to realize our ‘Joe’ was not going to need any advanced classes or college prep work. In my class there were two or three ‘Joe’s’ and I think I remember all three wanted to drive a truck. More than once one of the ‘Joe’s’ got me to thinking pretty hard about the cool life awaiting me if I had the nerve to join them for a life on the road. Fortunately for me I was afraid of my parents would kill me if I mentioned dropping out of school to pursue a truck stop life behind the wheel of an eighteen-wheeler. I have no idea whatever became of my ‘Joe’s’ but I know every class had some and I hope they are as happy as they planned to be during those early days of their limited formal education.

I guess if you live the sheltered life of an Admiral’s son you really don’t meet many ‘Joe’s’. While John McCain had a bad five years in Hanoi, the rest of his life has been pretty structured and privileged. He probably doesn’t realize the woods are full of guys like his newfound hero. There are some traits in a guy like ‘Joe’ that are attractive at first blush. ‘Joe’s’ learned early to talk loud about the obvious. He is usually a quick study and can often be heard telling everyone around him how formal education is not all it’s cracked up to be and how fortunate he is since he went to the school of hard knocks and how he is conversant in just about any subject. The problem with this ‘Joe’ and most of the other ‘Joe’s’ is that the school of hard knocks degree and the brash talk run thin pretty quick. The press took fifteen minutes to find out that ‘Joe’ was not a plumber, ‘Joe’ was not about to buy a plumbing business, and ‘Joe’ in fact was behind on taxes he owed in the past. ‘Joe’ did not say anything about ‘spreading the wealth’, which McCain has jumped on so fast. ‘Joe’, if he were here in the south would be described as simply a ‘loud mouth dumb ass’.

Now my next question is what is McCain going to do with ‘Joe’ when he gets him to Washington. The candidate for the highest office in the land gets absolutely giddy when he talks about ‘Joe’. This amazes me, the dumb ass completely missed one campaign stop where poor old McCain was expecting him and caused the old man to stand on stage, behind a lectern and literally call ‘Joe’ for several minutes. For the potential President of the United States of America to be calling in vain for a ‘dumb ass’ days before the election of a lifetime is scary proposition.


The experts and the candidates keep telling us this election is about judgment. I to think this office more than any other must be about judgment for many reasons. If judgment is the issue then Senator John McCain has got a serious problem. His judgment in choosing Marge Gunderson as his Vice-Presidential running mate and now his judgment in picking dumb ass ‘Joe the Plumber’ as a member of his inter circle move me to wonder if Mrs. McCain needs a long term assisted living program through her beer distributorship in place for John.

Why is this thing even close???