JACK NORMAN'S LOSERS WEEK 3

Probably noticed I changed my name for this literary masterpiece.  Just didn't feel good about 'Big Norm', sounds like some type of beef jerky or a new beer brewed at one of the new kind of joints that sells homemade beer and corn-beef sandwiches with little vegetable sticks on the side. Jack Norman is my name and I lived 66 years with it and I will finish out with it. 

In 1905 a pitcher named, Vic Willis, for the Boston Braves lost 29 games in one year.  Well ole Vic was a sight better pitcher than I was a football game picker last week.  The fact that I missed 7 out of the 8 games picked last week is an event equaling many of the earth’s most famous events. (i.e. the separation of the continents, discovery of ice cream and La. Monroe beating BAMA 5 years ago.)  Like my  beloved AUBURN TIGERS, I will make a comeback that will shock generations to come. 

VANDERBILT vs PRESBYTERIAN

I thought the brains from Music City had finally turned that corner everyone talks about but no one can direct you to.  Losing to Northwestern gave Yankees everywhere the opportunity pick up where they left off bragging about owning the South even though beating the ‘dores’ is more like Grant using his whole army to take Falkville out of the war.  Discounting the possibility of God jumping in on the side of the PRESBYTERIAN ‘Blue Hose’ Franklin and his high achieving brainiacks should do all right.  ‘Blue Hose’, are you serious?

Jack Norman’s LOSER:  PRESBYTERIAN

TENNESSEE vs FLORIDA

Now this one is going to make me put on my big boy picking pants.  The ‘Smokey Dogs’ have looked pretty good running up and down the field on the Catholic charities the first two weeks.  The skinny kid at quarterback can definitely throw the ball and they have three better than average east Tennessee ridge runners to catch it when the skinny kid throws.  On the other hand Bam Bam may have finally gotten his certificate from that coaching 101 class he’s been repeating for the last two years and has the big lizards beginning to to impersonate the old gators of the past,  at least for a half.  All my kinfolks in Tennessee, the ones with the brains and money, will probably not tell me again next year where the family reunion is but:

Jack Norman’s LOSER:  TENNESSEE

OLE MISS vs TEXAS

Ut-oh, somebody is about to put Texas crude in the punch at the GROVE.  Here’s this new coach that has the ‘johnny rebs’ 2-0 after two weeks and now there’s a herd of long horn cattle fording the Mississippi River headed toward Oxford and they’re not headed for John Gresham’s pasture.  Mack Brown thinks he has the team to get him back to the place where $5,000,000 coaches ought to be.  Whether he has or not remains to be seen but the ‘hottie totties’ are going to feel like the peanut shells on the floor of a Dallas saloon when the herd heads west again late Saturday. 

Jack Norman’s LOSER:  OLE MISS

LSU vs IDAHO

Did I even read that right?  My Uncle Harry and some other folks I think are smart doubt there is even such a place as IDAHO.  I personally wonder since I have never known anyone that has even been there.  If the state exist why do they even want to play LSU.  Money is one thing but longevity and a healthy life means so much more.  The only teams that should even consider playing LSU and ALABAMA are each other and the teams that play on Sunday, Monday night and in the Super Bowl.  Where does the ‘hat’ find these patsies, most are on the list of teams supported by United Way.  

Jack Norman’s LOSER:  IDAHO

AUBURN vs LA. MONROE

Are we close to the season being over?  Who kidnapped all those 4 & 5 stars and replace them with the West Alabama scout team.  The most positive thing I can say comes from my favorite mayoral candidate when he speculated that maybe LA.MONROE will be over confident and AUBURN could possibly catch them looking past the TIGERS toward the next real test.  I have been an AUBURN fan for at least 60 years so I have learned the values of patience and hope, as a result again I believe this is the week the Chizik pride of kitty cats turns it around.

Jack Norman’s LOSERS:  LA. MONROE

ALABAMA vs ARKANSAS

If you are like a lot of ALABAMA fans, running around talking about how the ‘PIGS’ are going to be mad and more ferocious now after being cut by the mighty ‘WarHawks’ of LA. MONROE, get real.  Cut hogs are what made the difference between the wild boar and the ‘little piggy’ that says wee-wee-wee all the way home.  My only regret that ‘motorcycle man’ is not still the head ‘hog’.  ALABAMA was all ways going to beat them.  They’re ARKANSAS for goodness sake, BAMA could play them in John L. Lewis Smith’s backyard and still beat them 30 points. 

Jack Norman’s LOSER:  ARKANSAS.