NORMAN LOSER'S-REAL OPENING DAY

Well Vandy mite near licked all the red off Johnny Reb’s candy again last night.  Neither team could have felt too bad because both seem better than last year and played for a full 60 minutes.  Both showed the rest of college football the way the game should be played and will both end up in bowls again this year. 

I also heard what a Tar Heel is from my boy Bubba.  He explained it is that mound of used tars taken from wrecked cars and trade-ins that pile up in a junk yard before they catch fire and burn for six months.
Thus ‘Tar Heel’

Now for the real opening day.

GEORGIA vs CLEMSON
Hide your women and children and put the dog outside because this one should be a slobber knocker.  Both the Dogs and the Tigers should score a bob tail truck load of points.  Neither of the head coaches, who happen to both be former Mouseketeers , have ever been able to win one or two games each year that would really set them apart.  They both have tremendous offenses with all kinds of explosive skill players so the two questions here is can either on stop the other of who will have the ball last.  Both should be in their conference championship game if they can figure out how to give their defenses a huge dose of Kaopectake and stop the other a couple of times.  Determining factor here for me is how can I pull against a guy from Alabama with guts enough to go by the name of ‘Dabo’. 
NORMAN’S  LOSER:  GEORGIA  by 5. 

MISSISSIPPI STATE vs OKLAHOMA STATE

Bless his heart the little troll, Dan Mullen, has had Mississippi State fans under ether for several years now.  They are about tired of hearing how he coached Tim Tebow and was the real brains in Gainesville during those glory years under the bigger fraud Urban Meyer.  In the meantime Mike Gundy has just about proven he is a ‘man’ and is now a few years past 40 which he claimed qualified him to be a man several years ago.  Oklahoma State has proven they are contenders with Oklahoma, Kansas St. and the other real teams in the Big 12.  Mullen has some experience on the offense in his QB and RB but they can’t play with the big boys and the Cowboys will ride them like Roy Rodgers on a 10 year old mare. 
NORMAN’S LOSER:  MISSISSIPPI STATE by 2 touchdowns. 

ALABAMA vs VIRGINIA TECH

‘TURN OUT THE LIGHTS, THE PARTIES OVER.’  ‘Little Nicky’ will not let the band open with Don Meredith’s old song out of respect for Frank Beamer’s legendary career,  but it is only because he has good West Virginia manners.  The CIA, FBI, Finebaum nor any other expert in finding weakness can find one on the Alabama team.  They can probably be beat, if they beat themselves, but it won’t happen in an opening game where Sabin, Kirby Smart and Wesley Neighbors have had 7 months to prepare.  Yeldon , Cooper, McCarron and the rest of the first team should not play beyond the first quarter and the babies behind them will have a hard time keeping this game respectable. 
NORMAN’S LOSER:  VIRGINIA by   (you name it)

WASHINGTON STATE vs AUBURN

What happens when a pirate goes head to head with a bus, the pirate ends up road kill.  The pirate Mike Leach’s air attack will look like the Hindenburg when this one is over.  Neither team should have played in a good Pop Warner league last year, they both stunk.  The difference here is that Auburn had some real players, they just had no idea how to coach them.  The Cougars on the other hand had the Pop Warner guys and they have not had the time necessary to equip Leach with the tools to perfect his air war.  Ellis Johnson’s defense will win this one in a hurry.  This is a perfect opener for the Gus Bus to teach a little driver’s education to a talented but untested Nick Marshal and Rodney Gardner’s chargers will feast on a much smaller and less athletic offensive line. 
NORMAN’S LOSER:  WASHINGTON STATE  by 15

KENTUCKY vs WESTERN KENTUCKY

Bobby Petrino is back on the motorcycle and riding the country roads again.  Mike Stoops like the last 34 football coaches at my old Kentucky home has had nearly a year now to convince the 6,000 football fans in Kentucky football is a real sport, but selling and producing are two different matters.  Coach Bryant is credited with saying he could take his and beat yours and he could take yours and beat his.  This game will prove Coach Bryant right.  Neither team has the talent Motorcycle Bobby is use to but he will take his and beat Wildcats like he should before he packs up and heads for Austin Texas to replace Mack Brown. 
NORMAN’S LOSER:  KENTUCKY by 10. 

LSU vs TCU

The battle of the initials. Say what you want, Les Miles is a factor.  Like a big old cat lying in the bushes, Miles has suffered the last 7 months in silence following a less than stellar year.   He has quietly reloaded and is ready to surprise a lot of people this year.  ‘The Hat’ is never short on talent and has a staff that can coach them.  Gary Patterson on the other hand has his picture in dictionary next to ‘big fish in a small pond’.  He continues to astound fans with his winning ways playing in a conference (Big 12) with at most 4 teams out of 12 that could compete in the Sun Belt.  ‘The Hat’ is coming back strong, he will contend in the SEC this year and may be the only real outside challenge to ‘Little Nicky’, so don’t think TCU will even  be in this one much past kick off. 
NORMAN’S LOSER:  TCU by 21. 

The other SEC games are not worth ole Norman’s time.  Somebody has got to stop this kind of bloodletting just to have a few exhibition games. 

TENNESSEE vs AUSTIN PEAY
Only thing notable here is AUSTIN PEAY’S  battle cry.  “LET’S GO PEAY”
NORMAN’S LOSER:  AUSTIN PEAY by (whatever)

TEXAS A & M vs RICE
TEXAS A&M by 25 even with Johnny Cash on the bench for 30 minutes
NORMAN’S LOSER:  RICE by 30

ARKANSAS vs LOUISIANA (RAGIN GAJUNS )
Will probably be a decent game I’m just too tired to mess with it and don’t really care.
NORMAN’S LOSER:  LOUISIANA

FLORIDA vs TOLEDO
You’ve got to be kidding.
NORMAN’S LOSER: TOLEDO by (a ton)