My good friends in an adjoining county announce today they are getting a new, and much needed, 750 person above ground storm shelter. They are getting a big federal grant to build this much-needed facility but I had never heard of one being built above the ground. When a tornado hits in this area, which it often does, I want my big fat body under the ground, so the above ground description threw me. I talk with my two closest advisors, John and Wally, about the situation and I think we came up with several reasons for the change in the design you expect.

Our first observation was that if you were underground without windows or open doors you would not be able to see the ‘cloud’ coming and all that stuff flying around. Secondly a person underground may miss the sound of that famous train coming they will be ask about by the first television reporter on the ground. Thirdly if you, and 749 others, were stuffed underground, all talking, singing and carrying on, as folks in this area are prone to do, you would have no way of knowing when the storm had passed. That means you would be down there as long as the food and beer held out. Another reason pointed out by the official was that he was afraid that if the facility were put underground then many of their residents would not be able to find it. This would really be a problem if they had stayed at home long enough to finish the last part of a ‘Jerry Springer Show’. Springer has a big following in that county, especially on the shows where everyone is waiting on the results of the DNA test.

For whatever the reason the official was satisfied that the shelter, which is being built in a nearby mobile home plant, would be ready before the end of tornado season.

Looks like another good job by FEMA.